Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Contagious

This teacher is teaching her grade four class, and she's telling them that the word of the day is 'Contagious.'

She asks if anyone can use this word in a sentence, and several people stick up their hands. "Carl," she says.

Carl says, "My dad told me to stay away from kids with mumps, beause they're contagious."

"Very good," says the teacher.

Then she picks Suzie, who says, "The atmosphere was contagious," and the teacher says, "Excellent, Suzie!"

Then she notices that little Johnny has his hand up, at the back of the class.

"Yes, Johnny?" she says.

Johnny says, "The other day, me and my dad's a-sittin around, and we saw our blonde neighbour painting her fence. She had a tiny little model car paintbrush, and she was going in tiny little strokes up and down the fence, and my dad says to me, "Jesus, it's gonna take that cunt ages to finish that fence."

1 Comments:

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眾生升墜總原理:「內分外分」與上升下墜
內分(貪愛分內),屬情故下墜
外分(渴仰分內),屬想故上升
臨終善惡相現
升墜之類別:
飛升之類─淨土、天道、鬼神(想多之眾生)
不升不墜─人道(情想參半之眾生)
下墜之類─三塗(情多想少之眾生)
結論別業中有同業

十因在各道之餘習
十習因 鬼道 畜生道 人道
貪習(貪物) 物怪(依草附木)   梟類(土梟) 頑類(愚呆)
媱習(貪色) 風魃(旱魃不雨)   咎徵(烏鴉...凶兆) 異類(妖怪)
誑習(貪惑) 畜昧(狐獸精靈)   狐類(狐狸......) 庸類(卑鄙)
瞋習(貪恨) 蠱毒(毒虫惡蟲)   毒類(虺蛇......) 狠類(剛暴)
怨習(貪憶) 疫癘(散行瘟疫)   蛔類(蟯蛔) 微類(賤僕)
慢習(貪傲) 氣餓(飢虛之鬼)   食類(虎狼......) 柔類(懦弱)
枉習(貪罔) 憂魘(厭人心胸)   服類(衣服二類) 勞類(勞苦)
見習(貪明) 魍魎(山精之鬼)   應類(燕鴻......) 文類(小才)
詐習(貪成) 役使(咒術役鬼) 休徵(鳳麟吉類) 明類(小聰)
訟習(貪黨) 傳送(遞傳吉凶)   循類(鴿犬......) 達類(小知世故)
   

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